Lane Family

The power of music

2011-05-29T16:05:00.000-07:00

A couple of interesting things happened today in church. Laney gave a talk. It was going to be about things we could do to be more like Jesus. So she was just going to read Ari's favorite book and song I'm trying to be like Jesus. Instead she sang it. It was so cute after she was done there was a unanimous "GOOD JOB"!! And one Kid clapped a little bit. It was very cute

Our class in church was on music in our lives and in our home. They asked us all to think of a time that music has comforted us or helped us. Tears came to my eyes. My first thought is of the day Arianna passed. We asked people to pray and fast that she would not be scared. In the past when we would talk to her about passing she would get a little upset. She did not want to leave her Dad and Mom. Before she went I knew she was ready and I knew she was done being sick. She was happy to be going to live with Heavenly Father and Jesus. I do not think she was upset or scared.
The two things I wanted were, for her to not die in the hospital and also for her to be in my arms, her favorite place in the world. I did not get the first. When we told the doctors of my other wish. They said ok but we have to do it soon because she is fading fast and won't hold out much longer. That day I had four of her favorite songs playing in a loop. Baby Mine, I'm trying to be like Jesus, Twinkle Twinlke little Star, and a song off of Tangled. Baby mine was her FAVORITE and in the past I would sing it to her when she was hurting or falling asleep. That day all her family got to hug and kiss her and tell her good bye. It was a very peaceful, beautiful day. when she took her last few breaths. The song Baby Mine was playing and I sang it to my baby for the last time and I had my hand on her chest and i felt her heart beat for the last time. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I felt the spirit very strong. I think music can be a very powerful thing for comfort and peace. I hope having music there that day helped her feel peace and not be scared along with a lot of other things. I love and miss her so much.

A couple other things about music and Ari. Her Singing the Z song on starfall and going ahhh, when the little girls hair went crazy. She had the most beautiful voice and she loved music. She would just start singing every once in a while. One night one of the nurses came in and She heard me singing and thought I was singing to Ari but I actually was sleep singing. It gave her a pretty good laugh. To try to keep our spirits up I would fall asleep thinking good thoughts and counting my blessings and apparently it would get me singing

Happy Mothers day

2011-05-09T19:01:00.000-07:00

Today is special in 2 ways. One because it is Sunday. Every Sunday is special because ari loved Sunday. I would try to sneak to church when she was sick because I didn't want her around so many people and also because going would exhaust her. Of course I never got away with it. She would either catch me or she would make her Dad bring her down when she figured out where I was. She passed away on a Sunday. Every Today is special in 2 ways. One because it is Sunday. Every Sunday is special because ari loved Sunday. I would try to sneak to church when she was sick because I didn't want her around so many people and also because going would exhaust her. Of course I never got away with it. She would either catch me or she would make her Dad bring her down when she figured out where I was. She passed away on a Sunday. Every Sunday since is not only Gods day but hers also.

And number 2 is because it is mothers day. What a sacred amazing day. I love being a mother. I am so grateful for my beautiful children. I am so grateful for how forgiving and loving they are. I miss Arianna so much. I know she was a gift from God. And I am so happy for every moment I had with her.

Happy mothers day Sunday since is not only Gods day but hers also.

2011-05-06T21:35:00.001-07:00

I got a new calling. I get to teach Laney in church. After the first week she said mom its ok you will do better next week. I will help you. Oh and some people bring treats. She is so funny.
When Ari died she said,"at least you have to more girls meaning kaley and Lilly. Then she said if two girls would have died dad would be pissed. But it would be quitre so maybe he would like it."

Another one of my favorites is her saying Travis looks like a Fat Jesus. The things she says.

BIKE RIDING

2011-05-06T21:34:00.000-07:00

We have had a lot of fun bike riding lately. We went with the Levi and Zed. they are crazy. It is very entertaining.

2011-05-06T20:04:00.000-07:00

Alaina got up to bear her testimony and said one thing."I know my Mommy loves me". It made me feel wonderful! That is my main goal as a Mom, that my kids know that I love them. There are so many times I wish I would sacrifice more, teach more, listen more, you get the idea. But hey one of my kids knows I love them. That has got to count for something.

I read this story that was similar to Ari's. The last thing her daughter said to her was."I love you Mommy". I was so jealous the last thing my daughter did was hit me for letting them do what they just did to her. I went to bed thinking about it and the next morning I woke up went down the hall and there was a book laying there that I didn't even know we had. The title was "I Love You Mommy". Thank you Ari. I love you to!!

Camping and rock climbing

2011-05-03T11:09:00.000-07:00

This week we went camping at red cliffs. We went Repelling. Me and dannie went face first. It is very beautiful. We went hiking up the caynon and went on some rock slides into the water. It was way fun. The next day we went floating down the river. The river got really flooded this year and it was pretty deep. The first time we went it was peaceful and fun. Each time it got a little crazier and crazier. The last time we went it was death defying and we all nearly drowned. GOOD TIMES GOOD TIMES!!!!

lilly crawls like a frog.

2011-04-11T11:10:00.000-07:00

lilly crawls like a frog it is the funniest thing. If she is really exited she will get air. She would land right on her tummy.

2011-04-06T18:41:00.000-07:00

As prepared as I thought We were it is still very hard. It feels like at least once a day I break down crying. It hits you out of no where that she is no longer her. Every thing you do the last time you did it was with her. Reminders are everywhere. Each one makes me want to cry. But at the same time I am greatful for each reminder. Each memory each moment. I hope it starts to get easier. She had such an amazing spirit. I feel like the hole time through her pain. Living in the hospital. And every bump we had we were still very happy and at peace. I feel like that came from her spirit. Every one around her could feel her spirit and gather strength from it. I feel like with her gone I'm a little kid again. I guess it is time for me to learn to stand on my own feet again. Thankyou ari for your strengh. Love patience. Smile. Kindness and just for bring you. I love you.

2011-03-06T21:35:00.000-08:00

Lilly reminds me so much of Ari. She is starting to learn to crawl. So exiting. She is such a great baby.

we went sleding this weekend. We like to go sleding at least once every winter. It was such a blast. Corey has made these bike skis that are so much fun. The snow was perfect.

In Church volley ball this year are ward took 1st. We didn't make it very far in regional but we had a great time.

The kids made this swing it was pretty funny.

12 years and counting. Travis and his princess birthday cake isn't he cute!

Lilly in her blessing dress

2011-02-06T18:19:00.000-08:00

Lilly got to wear Ari's dress. It was a special day.

I WILL MISS

2011-01-26T09:48:00.000-08:00

I will miss her in my arms. I will Miss breathing each others air. I will miss her cute little voice. I will miss how she made me feel. I will mis her beautiful eyes. I will miss her loving me better. I will miss how much she loved me and how she would forgive me of anything. I will miss her smile. I will miss her bald little head. I will miss how funny she was and how she could make me laugh. Pretty much I can say I will miss everything about her every day until I see her again. I love you baby.

Ari I Love you!!!

2011-01-23T07:34:00.000-08:00

As I sit her and watch my daughter slip away there are some things I want to tell her first is that I love her unconditionally. That everyone in her life loves her. That i would do anything for her. That she is the strongest most amazing spirit i have ever known. That she is beautiful. That i will miss her. That it will be a miracle if she stays or goes. That her Father in Heaven loves her and is there for her. That her savior loves her. That she will be in good hands. That I want her to be happy. That i wish i could take it all away. That i wish i could hold her. And last is that I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't trust her and Travis. That I'm sorry she is passing in a hospital instead of at home. That I'm sorry she couldn't spend her last moments in my arms. I'm sorry that she has been tortured her last month here. I'm sorry that she loves me so much and is so obedient that she let us torture her. I'm sorry she couldn't spend more time with her family. And That I hope her and Travis will forgive me.

I know a lot of people will try to tell me it is not my fault and i know it isn't. But it could have been different. She wanted it different and that is why I need to apologize to her. I know that it was supposed to happen this way. But i feel bad because i feel that is was for me to learn certain things and I am sorry that my kids and my husband sometimes suffer for my learning process. But that is life and I know they love me enough to forgive me and put up with it again and again.
I have faith and am grateful for this whole experience and I know it is because Heavenly Father loves me and loves her that everything is happening. I believe she is to pure for this world and am happy for her to not have to deal with things. I have learned that I need to trust my Family and Travis. Trust that he is the priesthood in our family. I trust and know that Heavenly father loves me and will comfort me and will always be there for me. I am grateful to him for all my blessings. Travis sometimes teases me but I truly believe that every thing that happens in our lives is for a reason. And that the Lord is very aware and active in our lives. Thank you every one for all your love, prayers, and fasting. I know that it has helped.

2011-01-22T21:04:00.000-08:00

Ari’s Update January 22, 2011
Many of you have been asking me how Ari is doing. I apologize for the delay in responding.

Travis has been in Salt has been texting me updates from the hospital in Salt Lake. I received the following text from him this morning. With his permission I am going to post it:

She is still the same. Her heart has remained strong. They anticipated her heart to fail soon because of all the work to take care of the other organs not Functioning. But her heart has remained strong. My thoughts are; are we prolonging her death having her hooked up to these machines that keep her alive? But in The moment as a parent if she is willing to fight I feel like I have to make the calls to do all we can to help her live. If we disconnected her she would die very rapidly. But how do you pull the plug when she is still fighting. It reminds me of a boxer who is getting killed in the ring but told his corner man "do not throw the towel in no matter what" "I think that was actually a scene on Rocky" then he came back and won. He was willing to die trying.
I believe Ari is Saying the same thing. "do not give up on me because I haven't given up on myself" but as a parent it is the hardest thing to allow to continue. But it is also The hardest thing to "say pull the plug" I guess what you do is trust God and fight right beside her and appreciate the moment that you have to fight with her Win or lose, as a parent I will look back and know that I didn't give up on her, God or myself and regardless of the outcome we will all win.

It reminds me of When Kaleb Pierce showed up at our door back in Highschool in Page with blood coming down the side of his face. He had gotten himself into a fight that was going to require some help. So 4 of us showed up to literally fight 15 plus people and half those boys could bench press small vehicles. But Kaleb went out there and with Zero hesitation of reservation commenced to pick out the biggest boy and convince him he was going to eat him for lunch. I knew all 3 of us were going to have The butt whooping of our lives. Yes I said 3 because the 4th had high tailed it out the other way and left just us 3 and the 3rd guy couldn't whip himself out Of a wet paper bag (as Dad would say) But because Kaleb was willing to go out with such tenacity I had no choice but to fight with him. Well for those of you that have heard The story. You know we walked away glorious. Well now looking back I have to add "Glorious Bastards"
Anyways Haley and I have remained very positive and Supportive of her through the night and Haley has been very encouraging to her. When you have such a little thing fighting so hard with so much faith, I have to Admit watching Ari fight with such faith and strength "It is easy to remain strong, positive and allowing much faith to be put into the Lord." after last night I feel extremely honored to be her father. I have never been so touched and moved by an individual’s example. I never ever would have dreamed it would be by a three year old little girl. Right now I feel no fear, no doubts, patients and full of love and hope. That doesn't mean it’s going to be sunshine and rainbows for us. and it doesn't mean the outcome is Going to be what I want but I do know that God is in control and loves us and that is enough for me. So I am just going to continue to fight right beside her and continue to trust God and endure until the answers arrive.

He sent this picture and wrote, "she is peaceful"

This little girl has been through so much and remains the sweetest little thing. I love her so much.

Happy new year

2011-01-01T22:11:00.000-08:00

My new year was spent down in PICU thinking Ari would pass any minute. But she is still sticking in there. We might get moved up to the forth floor tomorrow. She still needs help breathing but is doing a lot better. her ANC was at 300 today. She has to be at 500 for 2 days to consider her ingrafted. We are now on day 14. So maybe tomorrow she will be at 500. Her head cleared up pretty much over night. So I really think the bone marrow is working. Oh and she lost all her hair again. She is still as beautiful as ever. Her liver and spleen our down to her hips. So she definitely has her work cut out for her.

Lillian's mohawk

2010-12-29T15:05:00.002-08:00

Christmas

2010-12-29T15:05:00.001-08:00

we had a great Christmas. When we came up here we didn't have anything for the kids for Christmas. We figured being together would be the best Christmas. And of course Alaina gave her bone marrow. But the kids school brought up 4 huge bags of presents and the McDonald house also gave us 4 huge bags of presents. I think the kids were more spoiled this year then any other thank you so much for everyone. We fill so loved from everyone.

In the hospital with Kaley

2010-12-29T14:48:00.000-08:00

My new philosophy is that it is better to ask forgiveness then permission. So with that idea, we ended up having Kaley with us for 2 weeks. Finally they said her and Lilly couldn't stay. Mainly because RSV season had started. But I have to say it was a wonderful 2 weeks. She is so amazingly helpful. She made Ari, Lilly, and me so happy. Sometimes Ari would rather have her then me. I love her so much and am so grateful for her.

Taylor and Millsap

2010-12-26T14:08:00.000-08:00

Jazz forward Paul Millsap, right, helps serve breakfast at the Ronald McDonald House in Salt Lake City on Thursday, Dec. 23, 2010

Since we have been here we have been visited by the hokey team okur and millsap from the jazz and a soccer player. Taylor was in the paper. He was pretty funny with millsap.

Happy BMT birhthday

2010-12-23T22:49:00.001-08:00

We are now getting bone marrow. Alaina is setting records for recovery. She gets to be in the room with Arianna. They sang happy BMT birthday to her and it was a lot of fun. We now will celebrate 2 birthdays every year. Every one cheered for both Arianna and Alaina. Laney felt like quite a hero today. The bone marrow looks like a christmas red. I think that is from the oxygen in the blood. Eventually Ari will only have Alaina's blood in her. We are pretty exited because Laney has graet energy and a good imune system. She fell asleep after the party.

Playing out in the hall

2010-12-23T21:52:00.000-08:00

It was so wonderful having everyone up here. I miss them so bad when I'm here. Me and Travis would trade of every night and when I would have them we would all sleep in the same bed. I never got to cuddle Travis so even when we are together I still miss him. Kaley would take care of Lilly out side the door they were so cute. Every one loves them. People kept complimenting me on how awesome they were I'm so greatful to have such awesome kids. I was a little concerned Lilly might get kidnapped only because about 5 people told me they were going to. I miss her so bad. She was sick so I had to gold her as much as I could then say good bye, take a shower and then go see Ari because Lilly was sick. It was sad letting her go. I'm sure it is for the best Ari is in a lot of pain so it would have been hard to have them both. But I will miss her so bad. A funny thing about her is that she likes to wake up at 3am and talk. Little goof ball.

Favorite picture of the year

2010-12-20T19:49:00.001-08:00

Bumbo baby

2010-12-20T19:42:00.000-08:00

Lilly 2 monthes.

Kaley an american girl

2010-12-20T19:39:00.000-08:00

2010-12-20T19:37:00.000-08:00

Alaina wasn't feeling very good. She came home from school and fell asleep on this stool for the rest of the day.

Kaley's room

2010-12-20T19:15:00.000-08:00

We decorated Kaley's room. She sewed her quilt and painted this picture. She is so cute. She used to be in the tower but she traded Alaina.

lillian hanging out in Kaley's bean bag chair.

Head band fun

2010-12-20T18:52:00.000-08:00

Bernice and her girls invited us over to do headbands. We had a blast. The girls did such a good job. It was such a fun girls day.

Camping and rock climbing

2010-12-20T18:14:00.001-08:00

2010-12-20T18:09:00.000-08:00

I love this stroller and some day we will be home long enough to use it.

Bath Time

2010-12-20T17:52:00.000-08:00

I love her eyes.

Lane pool party

2010-12-20T17:39:00.001-08:00

Playing pool baseball. good times

What a party poo per.

Dax covered in chocolate.

Talk about multi tasking. What a talented Mom.

picture day

2010-12-13T20:09:00.001-08:00

BAD HAIR DAY.

Taylor cut his own hair.

Kaley did Alaina's hair.

Cute Arianna

2010-12-13T19:53:00.001-08:00

Adorable blackmail. HA HA

Date with Kaley

2010-12-13T19:45:00.001-08:00

Playing dress up. Doing a mall crawl. We even tried out the message chairs.

Ari and her baby kitty

2010-12-13T19:43:00.001-08:00

Big sister

2010-12-13T19:31:00.001-08:00

Me pushing my baby and Ari pushing her baby. Every one here thinks Lilly is a doll at first.

These 2 are bed buddies. Ari is very protective of her baby.

Haloween 2010

2010-12-13T19:28:00.000-08:00

A beautiful fairy

Having fun being home with Dad.

2010-12-13T18:12:00.000-08:00

He does so much better at home school then i do.

Miniature golfing at fiesta fun. I love Lainy's face.

Funny but gross

2010-12-13T11:57:00.000-08:00

Every thing Ari eats is orange. She loves baby oranges baby cheese and Mac and cheese. one day her poop looked the same color as her baby oranges. Oh another new thing she has been saying is "Oh my goodness". Her little voice is so cute.

Travis says Alaina has gone from making big messes to small disasters. We call her our Tasmanian devil. It is a good thing she is so cute.

No more nursing

2010-12-13T11:54:00.000-08:00

I was so stressed the first couple days we were here. I was having a hard time with nursing. I was drinking over a gallon a day and using lanolin cream. So I got a lactation specialist to come by. She said she thought I had a yeast infection and that because of stress I had lost my milk. She thought that Lilly was starving. They got us a formula and she drank 5 to 8 bottles the first day. She's right back to being the sweet little baby she has always been, poor thing. Pumping I could only get about 6 ounces a day. I'm so sad because I love nursing. But I'm sure it is meant to be because she will probably have to stay with dad for a bit when every thing gets crazy.

Faith

2010-12-08T18:38:00.000-08:00

To me faith is knowing that if you are trying to live your life right God is taking care of you no matter what happens in your life.
So many times in church you hear people talk about how heavenly father protected and blessed them because they were living there life right and paying there tithing. This is so true and I have been protected and blessed so many times for trying to follow the spirit and do what's right. But you hardly ever hear the lord let my little baby get cancer and experience all her pain because we were trying to live our lives right. But I believe having faith means knowing that what ever he has happen in our life along our journey. If we are trying to choose the right it is all a blessing and for our good and benefit. He loves us and knows what we can and can't handle and I am so grateful to him not only for my blessings and protection but for my trials as well and knowing that he will always be there for me.

Family pictures

2010-12-02T17:25:00.001-08:00

I love Hayley and no I'm not talking about myself. My sister is law Hayley us the bomb. She took our family pictures on my birthday. She us so talented. It takes a lot of work to make people 50 plus Pounds over weight look decent. We had so much fun doing them. Ari and Lilly did great they were both really happy. Thanks again Hayley.

Thanksgiving 2010

2010-11-26T14:15:00.001-08:00

Hanging out.

We went to IHOP for thanksgiving.

Tangled

2010-11-24T21:51:00.001-08:00

We took the kids to tangled and we all loved it. Arianna loved it she fell asleep half way through. She sleeps more then she's awake lately. but we all really enjoyed it. We also got all 3 girls little Rapunzel dolls.

awesome birthday

2010-11-11T17:45:00.001-08:00

This year I had the best birthday ever. On our 12th anniversary we were spending the day getting blood. When we got home every one yelled surprise. The entire house was decked out. I have to say that was the most surprised I have ever been. After the whistles and yelling I asked whose birthday is it. I thought maybe it was one of Michael and Angie's kids and we were having it at our house but nope it was all for me. In the middle of the room was an amazing mountain bike. And a camel back riding gloves and helmet. It was such a great birthday. Travis is amazing he spoils me so bad. That week we went on three bike rides one in the dark with Zed and Ammon. One as a family around the loop. And another one just me and Travis on the green valley loop. What a fun ride. I love spending time with Travis it truly is a rare and loved thing. We thought I would be at the hospital on my birthday but for the actual day I got to be home with my family and arianna was still with us so both days were the best ever. I'm so greatful for my blessings and family. Oh and one more time I Have The Best Husband EVER.

The case of the hair do fairy

2010-11-11T17:43:00.000-08:00

we know the story about the shoe maker and the elves. What happened to us was slightly different. We would wake up with beautiful hair do's. The first person to figure out the mystery was Kaley. She woke up at about three in the morning with her hair being tugged on and the lights on. she could only see the light barely because the hair do fairy had put a mask on her so she could see better and not wake Kaley up. The sleeping masks Dad had brought home from the airport. Sure enough when she took of the mask it was Lainey. She is so funny she has such a hair obsession. I wake up all the time with my hair done only half of it of course because of the way I'm sleeping. Ever since she was a baby she would play with my hair all night long. I loved it. So if anyone wants a gorgeous hair do come to our house and just fall asleep.

Arianna's Birthday age 3

2010-10-20T18:38:00.000-07:00

Kaley's bityhday age 11

2010-10-20T18:31:00.000-07:00

She got surprised at school with flowers and baloons. Dad made her birthday pretty special.

Taylor's birthday age 9

2010-09-20T18:00:00.000-07:00

We took Taylor to Texas road house and they had him sit on a saddle while they sang to him. He also enjoyed throwing peanut shells at his sisters.

Football star

2010-09-09T20:08:00.001-07:00

Taylor had such a great season. He was so fun to watch. He is very talented and dedicated. His last game he broke his hand in two places in the second quarter and played the rest of the game. He even made two extra points. He is such a tough guy.
Scott broke his arm also. They are peas in a pod.

Baby Krysta!

2010-09-08T11:51:00.001-07:00

Krysta Lillian Lane weighed 8lbs 2oz born at 2:27 Am on the 6th of September.She was 22in long and nice and chubby.

This whole pregnancy has been crazy. I have gained so much weight and not done very much of anything to take care of my body. If I had to be on bed rest that would have been no problem because that's were I was this whole pregnancy. We were up at the hospital and making every one more and more nervous every day. I told them it wasn't a big deal just stick me in a wheel chair and roll me down the hall. The day they got us out she was born about 5 hours after we got home. I kept telling every one not to worry my water always beaks and then we still get about 2 days. Boy was I wrong. It was a wonderful birth. If I would walk fast I couldn't even feel my contractions. I didn't get to use the tub as much as I wanted to. My midwife wanted me to feel my contractions so my uterus would contract back down. She didn't want me to hemrage. For the last hour I was cussing her not really. The recovery was awesome though and so worth that last hour and when you have a two year old going through as much as she's going through you can't really complain. Lilly nursed right away for a few hours. For my first baby yet I was up all night. I didn't mind because I'm use to it with ari. One morning I remember telling Travis I actually slept really good I was only up 7 times. I was totally serious but as soon as I said it it made me laugh. The reason Lilly was up was because she was hungry. She just kept screaming and tugging at my chest. It was funny. As soon as my milk came in she ate like a little piggy and went right to sleep. She is my first binky baby hurray. Now I know what all the rave was all about. She us such a easy wonderful baby. Thank you heavenly father. Compared to ari she is so low maintenance. Arianna loves her baby and is so cute with her. Lilly's birth and recovery were awesome. She is very strong at about 5 weeks she had her first roll and right after she got here she lifted her head. She is also super smiley. We thought of krysta when we were in the temple. It means follower of Christ. Lillian was my great grandmas name. Oh and I stole it from Danny. Sorry. all the kids are great helpers. Alaina loves holding and changing her baby sister. She reminds me a lot of kaley as a baby she is always talking. I remember having to take kaley out of church because she was laughing so loud. She looks a lot like zed. She has his squinty eyes. A few days after she was born I was changing her and taylor says oh man so she is a girl. Apparently he thought we were playing a joke on him. He just wants some one to tease and wrestle. He cracks me up. Him and Travis are a little nervous about protecting that much virtue. Having 4 beautiful girls does that. We are so glad she is here. It so funny how when they come it feels like they have been there the whole time. Your family feels more complete.

All my girls.

Ari's herpes

2010-09-06T17:09:00.000-07:00

We thought Ari just had mouth sores because one of her chemos gives her mouth sores. So we were sent home and they started getting worse and worse it turns out she got Herpes really bad. She couldn't eat, talk and she could barely drink. The only thing we could get her to drink was coke. Now we have a 2 year old that is a coke addict. I tried torturing her by making her take stuff in a syring but after a few weeks she looked awful so we started her on feeds through a feeding tube.It ended being herpes. Two months latter she finally stated eating. She ended up having herpes, EBV, infected lip nodes, and fishers. She was in the ICU at primaries for a few days and we almost lost her. Travis took her up himself since the baby was do any day.

Here is a email from Travis.

Hello Everyone,

Just a quick update about Ari. Some of you may know that we have been in and out of the hospital for the last 7 weeks, mainly in St. George. But we have been at Primary Childrens since Thursday (August 26, 2010). Mom was up here with me while we spent over a day in ICU. Haley couldn't take it anymore remaining in St. George so she came up yesterday evening. She was staying in St. George because she is due any day to have the baby. Actually her due date is on the 4th of September. But she has always been 10 days late with all of the other kids. Anyways we have decided to have both of us up here at PCH and have made arrangements that if she does go into labor we literally just have to walk over to the University Hospital. We won't even have to go outside and get into a car. The kids are with Grandma Bradshaw. They are on their second week of school and they really like it. Taylor is playing contact football and Haley recorded his games last Saturday and without being an unbiased father, he is unbelievable!

Ari is definitely struggling. The list of her infirmities is very long and the discomfort and pain that it is causing to her body is very sad. It is not just one single symptom that is killing her it is a multitude of diseases, viral's, bacterias and infections. Just one of those symptoms would bring me to my knees begging God to take my spirit to allow my physical body to be alleviated from the pain.

She has herpes that has infected her mouth down her throat through her digestive tract all the way to her rectum. She also has a viral called EBV. I forget what it stands for, but it is causing her body to not be able to heal and reproduce white and red blood cells. She also has staph and strep--not the normal strep that most people get but the kind that eats through your skin and organs. Obviously the pain of all of these is extremely painful. I am seriously blown away of how she continues to bare it.

The cancer has moved into her jaw on both sides and into the base of her skull as well as into her lip nodes. So now the LCH is in her liver, lungs, kidneys, spleen top of her skull, the base of her skull her jaw and her lip nodes. The doctors were joking today saying that this is a new disease and it should be named after Ari. But they were serious when they said that they had never seen anything like this and they are amazed as to how she continues to fight this disease.

The plan now is to get her healed of the Herpes, staph, strep, and EBV. Once she is healed of those bacterias, virals, and infections then they are going to work on the Cancer. They are very concerned about the cancer in the lip nodes especially because that will aggressively spread and it is a large chance that it is in her bone marrow. So we are closer to the bone marrow transplant and hopefully the new baby's placenta will match. If not we will start with Taylor then Kaley then Laney. Then, if they don't match we will move on to Ron and Vicki's kids (LOL).

I did not know that bone marrow transplant was so risky. The doctor explained the risks of the transplant and now I understand why it is the very last resort.

Thanks for all of your help and love.

Love
Travis

I'm having a hard time tonight. I have never been away from her. But since the baby is due any day,Travis took her up this time. She almost died tonight. They are now in intensive care. I've always said to myself it would be ok if she skipped of to heaven. She is in so much pain I would have to be really selfish to not want her to receive relief. Tonight I realized that I still feel the same way but if it is going to happened I want it to be in my arms. I think the only reason I'm ever strong is because I have this amazingly strong spirit nestled in my arm and my spirit just feeds of her's. She is so amazing in every way. I am so grateful for her. Thank you Heavenly Father for sending me such a beautiful angel.

I'm sure every thing will seem brighter in the morning.
but for now thanks for all the prayers.

Starting school

2010-08-28T05:24:00.002-07:00

Kaley, Taylor, and Alaina have started school at George Washington academy. I wanted to put them in this year just in case we end up away from them a lot this year, because of ari. Some people have children who are spoiled rotten in our family we have a spoiled rotten Mom. I really don't know what I will do without them. They keep the house clean and keep me fed. Kaley and Taylor both know how to make my green drinks. I love them all so much they really have me in awe a lot of the time. I don't know what I did to deserve such awesome kids.

They are doing really well in school. They really enjoy it. Taylor is getting straight A's. It really made me feel good about being a home school Mom. This school is a really difficult school. Their math is 2 grade levels ahead. They come home with all kinds of homework. They are used to sleeping in so they have been pretty tired. This is Alaina after 5 minutes of home work.

Cookie Cookie

2010-08-28T05:24:00.001-07:00

Aunt Donna, Uncle Corey, Brooke, Colten, Grandpa Lane, Aunt Bobbi,and Aunt Jamie all pitched in and got Ari this puppy. I'm sure there were more who helped pitch in. We are so glad. One of Ari's favorite things at the hospital is dog therapy.
We all love this dog. Her name is cookie. She is the lowest maintenance dog I have ever seen. She so soft and sweet. When ever me and Ari leave she waits by the door until we get back. When Ari's mouth was swollen she couldn't talk. She hadn't said anything for about 3 days. One of the first things out of her mouth as we were leaving to the hospital was," bye cookie love you". It was so sweet. Thank you every one.

Alaina 5th birthday

2010-08-27T05:38:00.000-07:00

We had a fun filled day. We went to jumping jacks, chuck arama, and had a surprise party. Alaina had a great birthday. She is cute she acts like Mr. cool when she gets exited. She also plays with her hair non stop.

Believe it or not Ari was having a fun time.

I love church

2010-06-06T19:55:00.001-07:00

Ari loves going to church. One time I woke up late and snuck out without her. She felt very betrayed. She has such a good time in class. Even when she feels like crap she is still up for church.

Being Home

2010-06-06T19:54:00.001-07:00

We have been so happy to be home. We have decided to enjoy every moment to the fullest. We don't want to have any regrets.
Amber and Jake got us tickets to lagoon. We had a blast.

Spending the day at sand hallow.

We spent the day out riding and floating down the river. Latter in the week we went down the river. We started in Hurricane, about 6 hours later we finally made it to Washington. It was just me, Taylor, and Kaley. Travis was so worried about us.
It was so beautiful. We saw a amazing waterfall, and about 7 beavers. The first beaver we saw we thought was a snake. The temperature was perfect. I really enjoyed spending time with Kaley and Taylor.

Bradshaw reunion at warm springs. It is so beautiful. we got released from the hospital just in time to enjoy all the fun. Uncle Bob and Aunt Penny were serving their missions there at the time. It burned down about a week later it is so sad. We were lucky to have enjoy it.

Happy St Patric's day. These are our leprechaun traps.

Day at the rec center. She is such a cutie.

The temple visiting center.

What matters most.
Spending about 5 months in the hospital really puts thing in perspective. The things you think about as you lay there are the things that matter most. It is different for everyone. I'm so greatfull for this gift and for the time I get to hold my baby.

Clinic appiontment

2010-06-06T19:53:00.001-07:00

We had a doctors appointment last Thursdays. I was very exited. She has been doing so well. She is so happy and so active. It makes me so happy. I was hoping that all the chemo rounds had gotten the decease out of her body. That was not the case her counts had dropped, we didn't need a transfusion "barely". Her ultra sound showed no difference in her liver and spleen. Doctor Fluchell said he wasn't going to go off that to much because it is so obvious that her stomach has gone down.

Over all it was a rough day. Ari was so mad we were even there. While we were talking about stuff that wasn't the greatest, she all of a sudden started freaking out. Clearly she couldn't understand what we were saying, maybe it was our tone.

The game plan from here is a maintenance plan of 3 different types of mild chemos all done out patient every three weeks. Then if that doesn't work she will receive two rounds of the most intense chemo she can handle followed by a bone marrow transplant. They said because of the type of transplant she would need it would need to be a sibling. Even then it is a 25% chance that they will be a match. They said every once in a million a complete stranger will have her match. They were really exited that I was pregnant because of the cord blood. Because of our situation it would be free. Dr. Druscull said it cost about $500 a year to store it. Amber had told me about all the amazing things they are doing with cord blood and cancer. It is pretty interesting.

So that was our day at clinic. I'm still hopeful. Maybe we won't need the second plan. The only thing that makes me nervous is that it is still in her and last time our maintenance plan didn't go so well, but you can't loose hope right. Every day I'm very very happy watching her being so happy. I am so grateful and blessed. I have to say I really completely enjoy my life.

The Love Of My Life

2010-06-03T11:23:00.000-07:00

I know I have said this before. I have the greatest husband ever!!! He loves me so much and makes me so beautiful and amazing.

I am about to put my blog into a book so i wanted this in here.

These are his love letters or texts. I want to be able to go back and read them whenever I want.

This is one he sent about Alaina with this picture.

She has been so cute! She is always telling me she loves me and she has the wildest stories. I think she misses you a lot but knows that it is important for you to take care of Ari. She told me tonight that .. Well first she showed me some hearts that she put on her wall in her room then she said " daddy do you know what those hearts are for? " I said no what? She said they are to remind me of my Mom and my baby sister Ari that I love so much! And I love you too daddy.

Dear Haley,

I find myself thinking about you continuously it seems as if not a second goes by that I have not thought about the great woman that you are. I guess it is the continuous pain in my heart that reminds me of the huge void that has plagued my soul of your absence.

I think about Ari as well not in the same way and not for the same reasons. One of the biggest challenges that I am facing right now is not having the ability to make Ari feel better. Sometimes I am upset with myself thinking that if I was more worthy that I could lay my hands upon her head and heal her. I struggle a great deal lately with the pain and suffering that she is experiencing not only physically but also the emotional challenges that she has to cope with daily.

I long and hurt for the moments we had together in our lives while we were dating and engaged and recently married those times truly and most definitely was the time of my life! Those are memories and experiences that I will treasure more dearly than any earthly Possession I could ever have.

I do struggle with the debt that I have gotten many of these people in, and I do apologize for the stress that it does cause you because of the time and focus that I devote to fixing the issue. I do not believe that I will ever be at peace until I have paid everyone back and until then I feel like I am enslaved to continuously work on it. I do know that sometimes I do hide behind it so that I do not have to face Ari's situation.

I went on a walk this evening and all I could think about was how your hand felt as I held it when we would walk together.I thought about the times when you would say funny things and I would laugh in my head but not out loud and you would ask me"don't you think I am funny?" and I would say "yes but I laughed in my head" then I would laugh out loud and I think every time I do that you think I am faking it but I am not" As I walked in the park I could smell the grass because of the slight humidity that was in the air. The smell reminded me of when we played capture the flag that night when I had just known you for a couple of days. I remeberthat night you and I had a chance to talk for a while. I do not remember what was said but I do remember how I felt, I knew that I loved you! and I knew that you were no ordinary person there was no doubt about it to me. Each time I spoke to you it felt as if I had, had a divine or heavenly experience. Now looking back on those many conversations I have realized that, that is what being in love feels like
and that is what happened to me is that I had felt the power of love on a different level than I had ever experienced before.

Many times I will get an unbelievable amount of pain in my heart and in my stomach as a result of the many challenges that we are experiencing. At times I think "is it this bad for Haley?" I desperately hope not because the pain at times seems to be unbearable to me and there is no way I would want you to experience those pains! I have to admit I have tried to give up a couple of times but I can not seem to stick with it. I have tried to not care I have tried to ignore, I have thought of actions of rebellion, I have tried to get bitter, I have tried to blame, I have tried to get angry, but it seems that I am not able to continue these thoughts or actions very long.

I really believe that one of the reasons is because of you. It is because of the love that I have for you and because
of the love that you have for me. I am so thankful for the love that you have for me, you make me feel so special and important. I draw so much strength from you. I do not believe you have any idea of how you lift me up and help me endure these challenges.

I find my mind clinging to the image of your beautiful smile and the sound of your sweet laugh and the touch of your gentle hands. It is that image that gives me the strength to continue to have faith and believe. It reminds me of what I am fighting for it reminds me of my purpose of life and why I am living and why I dream. It is then that I realise that you mean more to me than life itself and that with you I can continue and I can find peace.

I believe that true love is the ultimate goal that I can achieve in this life time. You are teaching me that my salvation is in love and through love. I have never felt so loved by anyone not my parents, not any siblings and not even by God. The love that I have felt from you has deeply touched me and I am grateful for you. I love you so much and I am so grateful for you. You inspire me to endure and not to only endure but to endure with honor and with faith. You are with out a doubt the greatest example to me and I love you for it. Please stay with it and I will also stay with it I know sometimes I can sound pretty depressing but I only share those feelings and moments with you because I trust you and I know that you will love me regardless.

I can only believe that God is very pleased with you and I often fear that because of your righteousness that he may want you back sooner than I am ready to let you go. Haley I love you so much!

Love
Travis

Haley,

I love you so much,I do not have the words to express to you what you have done and what you do for me in my life. You are such a strong anchor for me in life. Your faith,love, hope. and unselfishness have blessed me and our family so much. I am sorry that I am weak at times and I am sorry for things I may say or do that are not right or that do not edify you as my wife or a mother. I do try every day to be a good husband and father. You give me so much strength and hope to endure my challenges. There is no doubt that you and I were friends in the pre existence and destined to marry to be together for all time and eternity. I love you Haley and thank you so much for being my wife and such a great mother we are all so very blessed to have you in our lives!

Love
Travis

Haley,

When I was driving home I was thinking of a lot of memories of you and me. So I am going to share them with you and if you want you can respond what your memories are?

1. The memories I think about you the most are

When I first saw you coming up the stairs in my parents house in Provo
When you had your pockets full of pinion nuts (you were so cute)
When you walked out of the bathroom on our wedding night yawzors!
Obviously kneeling across the Alter from you. You were so beautiful

2. The fun time memories

Our honeymoon

Bahamas
Scuba diving at Lake Powell in that cove when we first got our boat
Hawaii

Fixing the trailer house up together
Asking you to marry me
That hike in Hawaii
Getting Spike
Sledding with you on the mountain
Running the Marathon

3. Most funny memories

"Nice firm buttocks Chicks love gray" on the dock at Lake Powell
I was thinking of other stuff too but I cant remember what I was thinking. I am so grateful for you I am so happy and blessed to be married to you. Our time together is really flying by I hope that we can create a lot more memories together. You are such a special person to me. you make me really happy and you make me enjoy life so much.

Thank you for taking care of our kids so well you are the greatest mother ever I never thought I would marry a woman that would be such a loving mother. Thank you

I love you so much
Love
Travis

Haley,

How are you? I miss you so much I have been looking at pictures of you today and you are such a beautiful woman. I really lucked out catching such a wonderful person, I guess I have always been pretty good at selling myself (sucker)

I am very grateful for you and what you are doing for Arianna, I know how challenging it can be to do what you are doing. I think that you have such a good personality and character with so many gifts such as love, patience, endurance, kindness, charity and forgiveness that our children are very lucky to have you as their mother and I am very lucky to have you as my wife. (I think were still married?? you are my wife still?? do you really exist??) I am beginning to think that you are just in my dreams.

I did dream about you last night, I don't remember exactly what the dream was about but when I woke up I really missed you. I do think that in the dream we were out camping in the mountains. We had a really nice camping trailer and we were near a river and small lake. I am excited for you and Ari to come home so that we can start camping, I really love camping with you and the kids, I think because the kids love it so much and we all have so much fun being around the fire at night and in the mornings.

We have really good kids, they are doing so well with their school work and with helping around the house. They each get a "To Do List" and they work on all of it. Then they turn it into me and I go through and check and make sure that everything was done. I have been talking to them a lot about how important it is to have a good attitude and how they need to believe in what they do and how they need to believe in their selves.

Kaley is so excited about her softball she loves playing it so much. That is really almost all she talks about is her last game or her last practice and how she is trying to get better and all the cheers they made up. She really likes it she is so cute to be with.

Taylor is a good boy he is a very hard worker he takes a lot of pride in working hard. We went to the KTM motorcycle shop last Saturday. He loved it we were there for about 30 minutes and he was talking to the shop people asking them questions about the different motorcycles. On Monday he wanted to get on the computer and look at motorcycles and he printed out pictures of the motorcycles that he wants. He is working hard to be able to get a motorcycle trying to come up with ideas that will make him money, he is very creative.

Laney is a cutie, she cut her foot really bad at Kaley's game the other day and we have been babying her like crazy and she has really taken advantage of it. She is milking it for all shes got right now. We carry her everywhere we get her food we brush her hair we get her clothes. She has been very clingy to me lately and is always telling me that she loves me.

I love you so much and I really hope that you know how much you mean to me. Because of you I am a better person, and because of you we have a great family. I am so blessed in my life and it comes from what a great person you are. I do not think you have any idea of the impact that you have on me to be a good person you really are a great example to me and I love you so much for it. You are a B-E-A-U-tiful woman! thank you so much for being my wife. I love you!
Love,
Travis

Haley,

I miss you so much, I hope that you are doing well. I think about you so much I am always wondering what you are doing and how you are feeling. It pretty much know what your doing and I am so lucky to have you for my wife. You are such a great mother and person. I really am so lucky and grateful to be married to you, our kids have the best mother that they could possibly get for this life. Thank you for being such a great person thank you for having so much faith and love for people. Your example of endurance and love and faith in God inspires me to be a better person. I wish that I was there with you to help. I am so sorry that I am not. I am working so hard to make this happen so that I can get these people paid back and get home to be with you and the kids. I love you and miss you so much!
Love
Travis

How are you doing? Did you know that I love you so much! You mean the world to me, every time I think about you, you make me so happy. I am going to miss you so much this next week I am already missing you and we haven't even left yet. I worry about our kids all the time. I worry about their physical safety, their spiritual safety I worry if their having a good childhood but one thing I do not worry about is if they are being taken care by their mom. You are the best mom any kid could ask for. Our kids are so lucky to have you as their mom. I am so
lucky to have you for my wife thank you so much for everything you do for me and the kids you are the best!

This is only a few of them. He always makes me feel beautiful and amazing. I love him so much.

Basball, Softball, and more Baseball.

2010-04-28T11:36:00.000-07:00

Kaley, Taylor, and Joe all did baseball this year. That is about 6 to 8 hours of baseball a week. It has been fun going to there games. They really enjoy it. Kaley made all stars. She definitely doesn't take after her Mom.

Jo

Home from Africa

2010-04-24T19:19:00.000-07:00

We are so happy to have Travis back. Affrica is a scary place. He has so many crazy stories. We missed him so bad.

What a goof ball.

Gradma crochet like crazy. she donates little hats and head bands to all these bald and beautiful girls. Ari is a great model.

Arianna our Angel

2010-04-24T19:18:00.001-07:00

In scripture study we were talking about how the people of anti nephi lehi considered Ammon and his brothers to be angels. We were talking about who in our lives we thought to be an angel. Arianna is our angel.

Ari's hair cut

2010-04-24T19:09:00.000-07:00

Before picture

Ari had about 40 hairs left so we decided to even the cut out. I think she is so cute. I put the left over hair in a little baggie for her scrap book. She walked around showing us all her haircut, even though it looked like there was nothing in the bag.
Lately She has been my puppy. I love petting her bald head and watching her little tricks. She cracks me up.

2010-04-24T18:57:00.000-07:00

Our Vacation Home Sweet Home

2010-04-24T18:42:00.000-07:00

I love my Home. Pretty much because of the people I'm with when I'm in it.

Everytime we get to go home it feels like a vacation one that you never want to end. We live it up pretty good everytime we our back.

This is our home made hot tub.

Out Shopping

2010-04-24T17:58:00.000-07:00

She loves this shopping cart. She has been roaming the ICS unit with this thing. Most of the nurses didn't know she could even walk. I love watching her enjoy being a toddler. Even though her Mom is not a hugh fan of pushing a shopping cart around and shopping in general she sure enjoys it.

Back again

2010-04-01T10:40:00.000-07:00

We have been back in the hospital for a while. This time has gone wonderful so far. She has had so much energy. Until her counts went down Ari was out roaming the halls with her grocery cart. Most the nurses didn't know she could walk. We are now confined to our room so she is wanting to be entertained all hours of the day. We are hoping her count recovery won't take very long. we are also in the suite. It is the biggest room they have. The extra bed in here is huge. My poor Mom has had to deal with the chair bed this whole time.

We got to be home for about 10 days. The weather was amazing. We tried to enjoy every minute we had. It was beautiful. We love St George.

The kids are playing baseball and softball and having fun. Taylor hit a grand slam in his first scrimmage game. He was so happy.

We Love our aunt Amber. I copied this from her blog.
Lipstick Mommy...

I went and spent the day with Ari, Haley and Lori up at Primary Childrens. I had talked to Haley on Sunday to see how they were doing, she told me Ari was doing really well and that she had started gaining her weight back. I remember thinking... "Wow, that is great news..." then I get to the hospital on Tuesday... and she has her cute chubby cheeks again! She looked like a different baby compared to the last time that I had been at the hospital with them. Ari was so much fun. As soon as she saw me walk into the room I heard her mumble something to Haley in a little tiny voice, that only Haley could hear. Haley giggled and said, "she wants some lipstick..." I always offer Ari lipgloss when I am there because she is always picking the skin off of her lips and when she has pretty gloss on she doesnt do it. It was so cute that her first words to Haley when I walked in were "lipstick Mommy..." I let her keep it in her purse until I had to leave that night. Ari is also walking all over the room she is in... yes this time they actually have room to move around each other. She is so cute, she has a mini WalMart shopping cart that she puts all of her valuables in and she pushes them around her room. Haley, Lori and I have been making headbands and there were little pieces of yarn scattered around the hospital room floor, Ari would walk over to them, and her little stomach is still a little big so its hard for her to bend over, but she would bend over and pick the pieces up and throw them away. Haley says that she is a little clean girl. She likes to make sure that everything is picked up and nice. I loved spending the day with all of them it was so fun! I hope :-) that they are.... and I hope that they arent :-) still there this weekend...
Lori gave me some recipes for some healthy bread that will be good for Jake and I since we have been starting to eat better. Its 100% wheat bread, with a few extra items to make it extra delicious. I stayed up until 2:00 am last night because I wanted to try making it as soon as I got home. It was fun and the bread turned out so good. She had one that was cinnamon and raisin flavored, which I really liked, but I knew that Jake wouldnt touch it... so I used dried blueberries instead of raisins and I took out the cinnamon. It turned out really good! But I do have to say that the plain wheat one was better! So thank you Lori for being a domestic Goddess when it comes to cooking fun, new things. You are awesome!!

2010-04-01T10:38:00.000-07:00

I asked God to take away my pride, and god said, "No."
He said it was not for him to take away, but for me to give up.

I asked God to make my suffering child whole, and God said "No."
He said her spirit is whole, her body is only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience, and God said "No."
He said that patience is a by-product of tribulation, it isn't granted; it's earned.

I asked God to give me happiness, and God said "No."
He said He gives blessings. Happiness is up to me.

I asked God to spare me pain, and God said "No."
He said suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to Me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow, and God said "No."
He said I must grow on my own, but He will prune me to make me fruitful.

I asked God if He loved me, and God said "Yes."
He gave me His only beloved Son who died for me. And I will be in Heaven someday because I believe.

I asked God to help me love others as much as He loves me.
And God said, "Ah, finally you have the idea."
-quoted by E. Dale LeBaron

2010-03-07T13:50:00.000-08:00

Today has been such a great day. Ari has been really sick this past week. Everyday it seemed she would get something new. She was going diarrhea every 15 min, she wasn't eating, She developed really painful hemorrhoids, She had about three different infections, her ear started bleeding, They were having to monitor her hart really good because her potassium was out of whack, She got ulcers in her mouth, And was having 3 to 5 fevers a day. She did not smile or let me leave her side for about 6 to 7 days. Her bum was so sad. I felt so helpless. I believe most the time watching someone we love go through pain, we would so much rather take it upon us. About 2 night ago as we were falling asleep I just kept praying over and over again, "please help her to stop pooping and get some relief please". That night she cut back. That day she did a lot better and she smiled for the first time in a week. Today she has done amazing we have been playing and eating all morning. We are so happy and grateful.

Mom,Donna, and Jamie brought the kids up Thursday. They couldn't see Ari but for me that was exactly what i needed. We had a lot of fun. I miss them so much. They are such good kids.

Aunt Amber made her this head band. It is so cute. She is so talented. Ari is also holding her pink buddy, Witch she loves. she got the blanket in bingo here.

She has been living in the bath, for awhile it was the only thing that brought her relief. She loves taking baths with her buddies. we accidentally flushed her buddy down the toilet. she was not very happy with us. She only gets them with her food tray once a week, since she hasn't been eating we thought she wouldn't get another one. We told one of her nurses, Dave what happened and he brought her up 5 new ones. That was when she gave us her first smile.

The first bath she took lasted 5 hours. She even fell asleep and we couldn't get her out.

Here she is chugging her water in her night gown Aunt Dannie gave her.

Ari got a reaction called red mans to a medicine called vancomycin.

Having fun in the snow.

Thank you, Thank you

2010-03-07T11:16:00.000-08:00

Life gets a little crazy in here. You never are bored or have much free time because Ari needs constant attention. Sometimes it takes me a couple hours just to get my dinner eaten.

Right now I am holding Ari; she is falling asleep. I'm eating a delicious salad Mom made me. I am reading Ari's blog and people's comments and crying like a baby. I am so grateful to Liz for starting this blog. She is such a good writer and always has me in tears. I love reading every one's comments. Hearing about Jennifer's little boy who has had a similar journey and is now doing great really lifts my spirits.

The post about donating blood really got me going. Literally, every kid on this floor is alive today because people donated blood. It touches me how many people have donated blood because of knowing Ari's story.

I really believe a lot of the Lanes have super human blood. My blood is lacking iron, super thin, and has all kinds of issues. Ari must have more of my genes then Travis's.

Anyway, thank you, thank you everyone for all your stories, comments, and prayers. We love you all.

IT'S MORNING

Yesterday was crazy. Ari has never lost her desire to drink. Water is her drug. Yesterday morning she ran out of her medicine that tells her body to hold on to her fluid and stop urinating. At the same time she was vomiting, peeing, and SHE WOULD NOT DRINK. Even when she is vomiting a lot she will keep up her fluids by drinking like crazy. So she got dehydrated super quickly and started blacking out. We got medicine in her and she pulled out of it pretty quickly. It is very scary when this happens. The rest of the day went pretty well. Mornings are always the worst.

The doctor working with us said she grew up in a poor country where the number one cause of death in children is dehydration. Mainly, because they do not have the resources to treat it

Good day. Bad day.

2010-02-22T19:06:00.000-08:00

Today has been one of the hardest days. She has been throwing up all day. We were talking to Travis on skype and he said, "She looks like she is dead or really drugged up. Last time her 3 day was her worst. The good thing is we are almost done with chemo.

Marie Osmond came and brought Arianna a blanket. I was pretty exited. She has spent time in here with her kids. She is such a beautiful women.

They brought in a Dalmatian. We love there dog therapy. Ari was half asleep and perked right up. He climbed up in bed with her. This was the best part of her day.

We got transferred back Into a bigger room. We love it. No one got to see are small room in person, witch is a bummer because it really was funny.

Goldie Locks

2010-02-20T09:30:00.000-08:00

GOLDIE LOCKS, TO SOFT, TO HARD, JUST RIGHT,

MOM, TO COLD
Last time we were here my poor Mom was freezing. We had to keep the room really cold because Ari would get to hot. One time I looked over at my Mom in her 5 layers and she was shivering She then said,"If i was naked right now I would wish I was dead". Of course Ari would be completely naked with no covers and burning up. One of the chemo's causes her to get fevers. Her decease also causes fever's, so it's just a double whammy.

ME, TO SCARY
I live in pajamas the entire time I am up here. The best are my bright pink hart pajamas. we are in bed for the whole time so, what would you do. Last time i got stuck up here with hardly anything. So looking presentable can be an issue, ex specially when your baby won't let you leave her to get a shower in. I really let my self go. I think being pregnant has helped me get a few dozen zits plus i am really pale. So if you can imagine i am pretty scary. My hair was also big, snarly, and about 5 different colors. The worst part about all this is as you lift your head out off bed there is a huge mirror right there, Scares the begeeses out of me.

ARI, TO BRIGHT
We call Ari our little vampire because she lives off people blood, a lot of the time she is pale as can be, and she doesn't like the light. I feel like i live in a cave. We never go outside plus she won't let us open the blinds ever. It is almost always pretty dark. during the day some light will still come through the blinds and she keeps asking me to turn of the light, and i can't do anything about it.

EVERYONE, TO LOUD
The toilets here can swallow a small child. they are pretty intense. If you flush it with the door open you are definitely getting woke up at night. they are so loud.

JUST RIGHT
Our new room Is very WARM it is about 72 degrees. Sleeping next to a human heater that is about 103 degrees can be tricky. She has had a fever ever since we got here. Mom is finally warm.

There are no mirrors So we are NOT SCARY any more because we no longer have to look at our selves. So until the smell gets to bad were pretty content.

There are no windows so at any time of day it can feel like midnight. Now it really is as DARK as a cave.

last but not least, we have PEACE AND QUITE. The bathrooms we use are the public ones about 40 yards away. This room really is JUST RIGHT.

It is funny what we complain about when we have it so good. Sometimes I feel so picked on, but I am so blessed and have it so good. i know i would not want to trade places with very many people here. I am grateful for my trials and I know the Lord gave them to me Knowing I would be Ok.

Travis is in Africa

2010-02-20T08:23:00.000-08:00

We have kept to our selves this last few weeks because we knew we both would be leaving and this is all the time we would get for a long time. Travis and I are both very selfish with each other. We are never apart that often and when it happens we do not handle it very well. today will be the 4th day of many. I miss him so bad already. Sometimes I wonder if I help him very much emotionally or spiritually. He helps me so much. He keeps me happy, grounded, peace full, keeps me laughing, and is always there for me.

Last time Ari and I were here I had little bit of a melt down. Travis helped me see all the good things and blessings we have and focus on that. Every time I need him he knows just what to say and do.

our only way to communicate now is facebook, or skype, so i am now on face book quite a bit. He is in west Africa. It is pretty scary over there. They have lots of work to do and I'm sure are keeping pretty busy.

Were still alive

2010-02-19T21:41:00.000-08:00

It has been a long time rite now we are back in the hospital. The hospital is so full they have us in a closet J/k. The room is about 8x10. We are finding the humor in it.

I love this Quote

2010-01-28T21:41:00.000-08:00

Cinda Morris May 28, 2009 at 3:18pm Reply
"Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don't judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give eachother the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone's differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn't handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusung to take advantage of another's weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of eachother." (Ensign, May 1992, 19)

Back in the Hospital

2010-01-15T09:12:00.000-08:00

They told us if we keep doing what were doing her survival rate is only 20%. So we have to figure out a knew game plan. When we went in for our appointment yesterday her counts were almost as bad as when we came the very first time. Since we have been here she has been given blood for almost 12 hours straight, so for all those people out there that donate blood THANKYOU THANKYOU.

The game plan this time is to treat her as if she has leukemia. It is quite aggressive and quite crappy. So we will be here for another 2 to 3 months.

So keep us in your prayers. We love you all.

New years resolutions

2010-01-01T09:38:00.000-08:00

Spiritual
Scriptures every morning
Gospel lesson 3 times a week
Have more meals together as family.

Physical
Take care of my body. And my babies.

Budget

Get organized

A Very Merry Christmas

2009-12-23T09:36:00.000-08:00

Santa asked Taylor if he was good or bad. He being the honest boy he is said,"A little of both.
Laney was a bunny in the pageant the church had, Kaley was an Angel, and Taylor was a Shepherd. They were all really cute.

The Bradshaw Family Party. I love this picture Zed looks so stressed.

We didn't plan this.

Dannie is Shera.

This is our first Christmas present. I know it is an awful picture. We text the picture to our family and so far only three people have got it. We are very exited. Best Christmas present ever.

On Christmas eve Travis had us right down all the things that we already have that if we got tomorrow for Christmas we would be so exited. It is amazing how much stuff we have to be grateful for. Here's what I got for Christmas.

Ari
The most wonderful marriage
4beautiful children
Being pregnant
A beautiful home
Awesome repel lung gear
A clear play
A awesome phone
A trampoline
Running shoes
Nice scriptures
Lap top
Office
DVR
Drop saw
2years supply of food
Beautiful furniture
Beds
Skates
Little trampoline
Nice bras
Clothes
Hot sling
Little tv player
TVs
My painting
The pool
jets
My hair stuff
Straighter
Out door toys
Plane
Baseball stuff
My movies
Camera
Video camera
My school sip lies
All my songs
Sewing machines
Saver
Banners
Bosch
Blender
Ari highchair
karaoke and radio.
My stuff organized
Our vacuum
Piano
Guitar
Tennis stuff
Juicer
Water
Snow stuff
Bath tub
Bike
Gospel savior
temple

and so much more
The things the kids wrote down were way cute.

BED

2009-12-21T10:01:00.000-08:00

I spend about 80% of my life in bed these days. Yes it has been great for my figure. If you like that soft round look. The word you hear out of Ari's mouth the most is BED. Most the time she is yelling it at me. Her facial expression's get pretty funny. I feel like I'm the kid and she is the parent yelling at me to,"Get back in bed young lady. My arm is her pillow and she can almost not sleep without it. She has been sick, so the other day I let her sleep as long as she needed, She slept for 15 hours straight.

I used to get frustrated at not being able to get anything done. Not anymore i feel that i treasure every moment holding her and loving on her. What changed that is one day after complaining to Travis. Telling him, "I have 15 seconds of time what should i do with it. He replied,"hold me".
He told me,"just think if she only lives a month or so you will be so glad for the time together". Leave it to him to change my life. He teaches me every day. The biggest thought i walked away with after our conversation was I DON'T WANT TO HAVE ANY REGRETS. Not just with Ari but with all my kids and Travis. You never know when your time is up or theirs.

So I now have to priorities a lot. Laying in bed with her is at the top of my list.

could you resist this.

Taylor's Basketball

2009-12-20T14:29:00.000-08:00

Taylor had another great game. He got 10 points witch was his goal. The last 2 pionts were on th buzzer. All the boys are son funny. It is neat how all they care about is playing the game win or loose.

The Christmas Jar

2009-12-13T19:40:00.001-08:00

Mom did a family home evening on the Christmas Jar by Jason F Wright. She handed each family a Jar and the book. I loved the story it is my new favorite Christmas story. If you have not read it I suggest that you do. This will be our first year doing it and i hope a tradition. It is what Christmas SHOULD be all about.

We have also started a service jar filled with warm fuzzy's. This idea came from President Monsen's last talk in conference. For every service you do you get to put a warm fuzzy (a little poof ball)in the jar. The kids all love it and clap every time we get to put one in. It is also so cute to hear Ari say fuzzy.

Here is how it ties in to Christmas. Usually when it is full we go on a fun family outing or trip. But this month they represent gifts to give the savior. I want to start this as a tradition also.

Taylor's Basketball

2009-12-13T19:39:00.002-08:00

Taylor is so athletic. He did great at his game. His ball handling skills are about 2 years above most the guys on his team. He is so much fun to watch. It funny how aggressive he gets. He really gives it his all.

Taylor has been in scouts a few months and is almost finished with his entire wolf. He is so self motivated. We did this shop project together for one of the requirements. Dannie painted the picture and me and Taylor did the frame.

Funny things Laney says

2009-12-13T19:39:00.001-08:00

Laney: Mom did you know Jacobs hot.

Me: confused

Laney: And Edward's not.

I was thinking did my 4 year old just say that. Lorrianna gave her some new moon cards from burger king and I'm guessing they came to that conclusion.

After church today Travis was walking home with the girls. He was asking them what they had learned. Kaley had quite a bit to say. After Kaley finished Travis asked, " Laney what about you". She thought for a while then said,

"Basically nothing"

She cracks me up on a daily basis.

Laney: Mom anytime you want to hang out, we can.

Out flying

2009-12-13T19:38:00.000-08:00

Travis took me out flying. It was so much fun. there was snow all over the ground like a white blanket. He hooked his phone up to the headsets. We just relaxed enjoyed the scenery and listened to music. You feel like you are in a different world. I have to say it wasn't all relaxing. It is like a roller coaster, times ten when he does his fun tricks. I loved it.

Date night's

2009-12-09T21:14:00.000-08:00

This week was mine and Taylor's date night. We went and played Lazor tag. I kicked but.JK It was so much fun. I love my dates with the kids because It makes me feel young. Not that im an old fart, I have to admit somtimes i do act like one. I think when me and Travis get out we are so greatful to be together. We just relax and take eachother in. I feel that i miss my husband all the time and can't get enough of him. Even when we are in the same house.

Me and the girls went to Liz's work for a presentation. We each got up do's and they taught us how to do our make up. We had a blast. Her work is a very upbeat place. We also made lip gloss, the shade that would match our face lips and coloring the best. Don't we look fabuloes!!

Giving Harts

2009-12-03T11:24:00.000-08:00

You never really realize how many people love you.

Going through this journey with Arianna has really brought to light how many people love and care about our family. At times it is overwhelming and brings me to tears. I feel so loved.

Just this week we have had our leaves raked and our house decorated for Christmas. Last night we went to TGI Fridays and our meal was comped. The waitress noticed Ari's pick line and asked what it was for. After sharing her story they gave us about 8 free kids meal cards and told us the meal was on them. When we left the waitress held Ari and gave her a hug told us we were in their prays and hugged me also. I was amazed by their generosity.

There are so many great people out there were love and kindness come so naturally.

Ari is in surgery rite now getting her port placed. The time i spend waiting in the hospital is a great time to blog. Our appointments are usually at the minimum 8 hours. When we come up here now I bring everything. We have been caught up here to many times.

Emily did this at church. She is so cute. We have been staying with Bobbi and Jeremy on our trips up. Their kids are so cute. last night i got a dance show, Talk about talented. Kia is so adorable he makes me baby hungry for a little boy. Taylor wants a little brother so bad. He is a little out numbered. He really enjoys Liz's little guys.

Taylor is our families entertainment. We is so fun to tease. Life would be boring without him.

While I've been gone Travis has been doing french with Laney and having the kids do school. He had Kaley teach the other kids piano. I am sure the house is also spotless. He has taken them to Jim Carey's Christmas Carol. I have to say he is better at my job then i am, If he wasn't so great at his job maybe we could trade spots. What can i say he must keep me around for my looks.LOL

She is done with her surgery. It took three times as long and was quite difficult. I was getting really nervous in the waiting room. When i saw her i had to try not to cry. She looks awful, and she was scared. She is sleeping really soundly now.

Dark or Light

2009-12-01T13:41:00.000-08:00

My Hair gets so dark in the winter. I love the blond. But i like going back to dark.

happy birthday to me

2009-11-24T10:06:00.000-08:00

I am now 28. I had a great birthday. I had a girls night out to see New Moon. It was a lot of fun. I came home to roses on the porch, My favorite ice cream, and gifts, Oh and the house was really clean. I was surprised because Travis was in New York. He thinks of every thing. He is so thoughtful.

I got a text from him asking me if I thought my gift would match our bed spread. I went to look at the bed. He had come home early and pretty much freaked me out. We really missed him. He was my best birthday present. I also got a awesome backpack for my climbing gear and new running shoes. The kids decorated the house and surprised me. We had such a fun day.

We had a great thanksgiving. Liz cooked all the food. So of course everything tasted great. We went and played baseball after words. It has been a while since we have played baseball.

Lately we have been into rock climbing. We took Angie and her kids out. We like to go to Dixie rock. Again Kaley and Joe made it to the top. Joe was barefoot. Sometimes he would just have his two toes holding him up. Kaley is such a good climber. I remember when she was about 2 we went out. She was good at climbing then. She has so much upper body strength.

Primary appointment

2009-11-16T20:16:00.000-08:00

Ari's appointment always takes about 8 hours. Amber had the day off so she came to visit with us. It was so fun to see her. It was actually a fun appointment. I was so hopeful that we would not need blood this time. She gets quite a bit of energy for a few days after getting blood.

The clinic gave her this hat. She looks so cute.

As soon as she got in the car she was out. It had been quite a long day.

FHE Rock Climbing

2009-11-16T19:29:00.000-08:00

We took the kids rock climbing for FHE. Travis had them tied to him also, so they were pretty safe. It was fun watching them get scared and then seeing the triumph in there faces after having made it down. The best was watching Dannie go down military style.

We all went climbing afterwords. Kaley was the only one who made it to the top. She did great. I love how climbing makes you feel strong. Of course We all felt like jello after.

Ari's hair

2009-11-15T20:29:00.000-08:00

She has only really lost her hair in the back. I don't think she will loose it all.

BACON BACON

2009-11-14T20:51:00.000-08:00

Arianna eating bacon. A piece of the bacon was hanging out and she thought it was hilarious.

Learning to Crawl

2009-11-08T13:51:00.000-08:00

Ari and I have been learning how to crawl. We even made it up the stairs the other day. Her face was full of gratification. She had conquered the stairs. Hopefully walking won't be too far behind.

Kim sales the cutest hair stuff. This is one of them. I love the hats! They had a boutique. They would have done great but they had a bummer turn out.

11 Awesome Years

2009-11-08T13:48:00.001-08:00

This year we went repelling. For those who don't know are first date was repelling and Travis also asked me to marry him on the edge of a cliff. We used to go repelling and climbing quite a bit. One time i got my hair caught in the rope. It has been a long time since we have gone. I have to say it was a little scary going again. We both loved it and had a great time. We should have gone a long time ago, but better late then never.

It was beautiful. We went at Dixie Rock. There are so many places around St George to go. Hopefully we will go often enough that we won't get hart attacks every time.

I am so lucky to be married to Travis. I feel so bad that his life is so stressful. I have so much gratitude knowing he could just let it all go any day , knowing that would be so much easier then putting up with everything, but he doesn't and it is all because he loves us and wants us to be comfortable, and provide for us the best way possible. We are all so spoiled. My life really is so wonderful, and it is all because of him. It isn't just me either he helps so many people.

He is an AWESOME father. Right now he is at the park playing football with Taylor. He is always takes the kids, so i can have a break, Even though his day has been much more stressful then mine.

He always makes me feel so beautiful and amazing. I think everyone needs that in there life to feel that they are important and loved, and he always does that for me. I really am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO lucky. I love him so much. I really wish he new how much. Some times he is just way to hard him self. I wish he could just see him self through my eyes.

It has been an awesome 11 years!!!

Family Home Eve

2009-11-08T13:45:00.000-08:00

We went skating for family evening. At the end it was just me and Taylor. We skated till it was to dark to see. We had so much fun. We had to have Dannie pick us up. Dannie is living with us now. I love having her, she is so much fun. She brought me to zumba, it was hilarious and so much fun. Mom, Jamie, Alise, Joe, Dannie, and I were all there. Talk about comedy hour. I loved it!

Our ward has a DI drive every 6 months. So this whole week I have been going through every inch of our house organizing and throwing stuff away. It is so nice to be able to just put all our stuff on the driveway and that's that. I figured it is a great excuse to dejunk our house. I love the feeling of having my house be organized. A house of order and all that great stuff.

During all my cleaning I realized that I had not mopped the floor in months, but yet it still gets done. I believe Travis and Kaley our the culprit's, they spoil me. Kaley has her Dad's love for cleaning and it really makes my life so much easier. I think Alaina will inherit it also. Taylor's room is always clean. He would rather own nothing and have it stay clean then worry about to much stuff.

The kids have been swimming still. I think they are crazy but they love it. Travis is always pushing them in the pool. He is to strong and never gets close enough for anyone to get him back. Travis pushed Taylor in the pool, fully dressed and as he went to help him out, It was just to tempting, I had to do it. It would have been perfect if he hadn't had his phone in his pocket. It was worth it though. HE HE HE

Family. It's all about time.

2009-11-01T15:55:00.001-08:00

Taylor and Tawnya came down to go scuba diving. They are so fun to be around. After they were done they came back and helped the kids dive in the pool. It was so cold.

When we were up in Salt Lake the Kids came to spend a few days with us. We went to see the sights. I love temple square./

HALLOWEEN 2009

2009-11-01T14:17:00.000-08:00

Arianna as the DRAGON. Taylor is Iron Man.
Laney as Sharpae.

Kaley and I are stinking pirates.

We through a party this Halloween. It was a blast. Levi and Joe won, funniest costume. Joe was a chick magnet if you can't tell those are barbie dolls taped to him. Zed won favorite. It was so funny watching him terrify all the children. Everyone dressed up and brought fun food. We had so much fun.

Jamie, Landon, and Levi.

Zed, Alise, Lorrianna.

My favorite foods was Kim's. The barbie brains were chip dip, gross hugh, in a Delicious way. The ghost were chocolate covered strawberries. SOOO GOOD

Ammon and Hayley's costumes had to be the funnest. They got a lot of were and tear.
Expecially when Ammon started rolling the dice, with Hayley still in there.

Some more fun Costumes.
Jake, Kim, Kaylor.

Siera and Atalie.

Angie Michael and Siera's little guy.

Mom, Dad, My amazing spider, Travis, and Arianna. Travis was 262 lbs of sugar.

Chantel and Mike.

Arianna's Birthday

2009-11-01T12:28:00.000-08:00

She made to age 2 YEA!!! She had a good birthday. She ended up getting tons of stuff. Everyone spoils her pretty good. I think she deserves it. She has been so good about all the torture she goes through.

She loves Dora. Ammon And Hayley got her a Dora movie, witch she has seen about 50 times and has memorised. She knows when to catch the crown for Marianna, She knows when to tell swiper no swiping, and yell backpack. It is quite a fun thing watching her watch it. It takes me back to when Kaley was Little. She loved Dora also.

Loving being home

2009-11-01T11:46:00.000-08:00

It has been a while. We are back in St George. I have to say i love being home. I am sure everyone feels the same way about there home. It feels so peace full in our home and being able to be with all our kids is so wonderful. I love the weather in St George. I have always said I am part reptile, because I love being warm. Rite now we are at the park enjoying the wonderful sun. A dog came up and sat by us. Ari got so exited she actually got up, crawled over, and started petting him. this is big because she hardly moves around very much. I guess she just needed the right motivation.

We went out skating yesterday. We had so much fun. My skates are huge, with a big trusty brake pad on the back. I love them. I can go down a steep hills about 1/2 a mile per hour, because of them. They are awesome. The last time I went skating with out brakes I ended up rolling like a bowling ball to stop myself. So like I said,"I LOVE MY SKATES"!

Sunday Danne cooked us fish. It was very yummy. I have missed her. I am so glad she is home. It was fun to be with all the family again. They all crack me up. Travis has said, "your family our like Mexicans getting together or like people in an old folks home. You just sit around laughing your heads off at the weirdest stuff. I love that about us. No matter what we have a good time. Dad was telling us this story and he had chocolate totally blacking out one tooth. We could not stop laughing. Latter Alise blacked out her tooth with chocolate and started telling a story. Dad said," Man that is so embarrassing. What a dork." We were all laughing so hard. You probably had to be there but it was hilarious. I love Alise and Dad and everyone in my family. We are all very loud also. It is kinda overwhelming. But I love it.

Ari is doing good. She still has her fever's everyday. We skipped 2 days and were so exited, but then she got a fever for 2 days straight after that and she got a runny nose. It is weird how before I would have to say i was the kind of mom that never took her Kids in to the hospital, Let alone for a fever and running nose. But with her it is just a whole different ball game. We can't take any chances.

Another fever

2009-10-16T21:20:00.001-07:00

Tonight Ari got another fever. She has had one every night for 5 days in a row. Everyday they tell us she can go home if she doesn't have a fever for longer then 24 hours, we are starting to think that day might never come. we actually are starting
to really like it here. we are becoming pretty good buddies with our nurses. This is by far the best hospital ever.

The way we got here this time is. After Kaley's birthday we just stayed in Mt Pleasant until her Monday appointment. We got to her appointment at 11 and everything went pretty smooth. She got chemo and a transfusion. We left at about 5:40 At about 6:00 she had a hard time breathing. Her breathing was like someone getting ready to have a baby. She also got a fever. She would grab a hold of me with her little fist and scream out in pain. If you know her you know that she never cries or screams even when she is a ton of pain. We gave her some oxycodin and it didn't even touch it. We called Primaries and they told us that even though we were only 30 miles away to just go to the nearest emergency room. We ended up at Alta hospital. They checked her vitals, witch weren't good, but were pretty much at a loss on what to do about this black hole of a baby. so They suggested we put her in an ambulance and send her up to Primaries. They said that it would take about 15 min to get their ambulance ready, witch to me was crazy. Or they said we could try taking her. So that is what we did. Thankfully Jeremy came got our other kids. We went about 90 miles an hour and made it about 15 min. When we got their they did about 20 different tests and x-rays and of course everything came back negative. They gave her morphine for her pain witch helped a Little. At one point her hart rate was 204.

So now we are back. she is such a mystery.

This is a text that Travis sent out to the family the next morning:

Family, I have to admit as of yesterday I am feeling the challenge of Ari’s condition. I thought I was a super hero, numb to the situation. But the endless physical torture that she endures everyday has pierced my heart to a point of almost bitterness towards faith and the atonement. But I know better than to go there. I do know that what is happening is in Gods control, I just don’t agree with it. I would rather that she moves on into the next estate as to have to continue enduring such excruciating pain. Pain that a grown man would fear, a pain you would only wish upon an evil enemy.

I wonder what this financial challenge and Ari’s challenge is for what purpose? I often ponder searching for an answer but find myself confused and question the power of God. But then I step back and realize that these experiences are for my own good and I realize that I have learned so much from them, my relationship with my wife and kids have grown, my gratitude for life and health have increased, my love for family and appreciation for those relationships have deeply awaken a better understanding of God’s plan. I then realize that these experiences are a great blessing from God and I feel privileged for the opportunity that he has allowed me to take part of them. I anxiously gather everything I feel like I have learned and with a joyful and grateful attitude I try to go back out there and make the best of the situation. Knowing, with no doubt that God knows and understands and I find comfort that God is in charge orchestrating such a divine occasion. I then feel embarrassed for doubting the power of God and the atonement. I then realize my role is simple. It’s the basics, have charity, have faith, have a good attitude, continue to learn, continue to be grateful, and most important endure the trial and never give up hope.

Dad I really want to thank you for all you’re doing to help with such a business disaster right now. Your handling matters that make me cringe, I am so grateful for you and you may not know how much you’re helping me right now thank you.

(Mom) thank you for the many endless nights of support and the miles that we physically put in together in the beginning of Ari’s journey and thank you for supporting Dad with the business challenges we have right now.

(Dona) thank you so much for taking care of our kids and getting them in school. I wish we would have left them in, but I guess…..What do they say about hindsight?

(Liz) thank you for the blog it has allowed a lot of people to remain updated. You not only have kept them updated but with your gift of writing you’ve allowed it to be inspirational and entertaining.

(Vicki) thank you for your example of positivity and endurance. You’ve always demonstrated those two attributes our whole lives. You’ve always been an example to me of being positive and never giving up.

(Bobbi) thank you for your support even showing up at the hospital and no one was there. LOL. Thank you for taking the kids, coming and getting them from Alta emergency room and for caring for them like their own mother.

(Jaymi) thank you for the many endless nights at the hospital. For all the many trips you have made to haul kids.

(Taylor) thank you for being you. I don’t know if you know but Ari’s in the hospital. LOL (“when the freak did we get ice-cream?”) thank you Taylor for letting me tease and make fun of you!

(Brian) thank you for your silent support when I speak with you I feel such a love and concern not only for Ari but for me and Haley as well.

(Jake) thank you for many endless nights at the hospital of so much support and sleeping on couches and always physically being here for support.

(Amber) thank you for so many dinners you have brought. Your food is so good. Your support to Haley has been very helpful. You’ve always just shown up out of the blue just waiting to see if there is anything you can help with.

(Kim) thank you for dressing up Kaylor and sending us pictures of her. She is beautiful.

(Lorri) thank you so much for all you have done there is no doubt that if there is anyone that Haley and I can rely on to receive any kind of help from it is you. You are so non judgemental and your endlessly supportive of anything we do, willing to endure with a humble and grateful attitude. I am also grateful for the strength that Haley gets from you.

(Haley) I don’t have words to express my gratitude for you. Your example of faith and humility are not human. You never give up, you’re always grateful. I am so impressed by the way you’re in tuned to what Arianna needs medically and emotionally. The way you took charge the other day when Arianna was vomiting and having convulsions. You gave orders to the doctors and it was your mother’s intuition that saved Arianna. I find it very important to give gratitude to people and God. I feel like when I recognize my blessings and give thanks for them for some reason burdens are alleviated

I think he is amazing. He is defenetly a super hero to me. We really do have so much support. Today Ammon and Hayley drove all the way up to see us. They brought me some much needed stuff and saved me a trip. they also brought Ari some really cute Dora stuff. On the movie they bought her. the princess name is arianna. I don't even think they knew that when they got it. They also brought some stuff for her to color. she has been into crafts lately. she loves painting. Another thing she loves is this song called 10 snowmen learn to read, it is on a web site called starfall. I love this web sight. We finally taught her how to push the button to play the song so we don;t have to do it every 10 seconds, hours on end. she holds her fingers up and waves them back and forth and laughs, it is so cute.

Josh and Joni Jones have also brought in Delicious meals to us. We enjoy seeing and visiting them. They are great friends.

The Kids are enjoying being at aunt Bobbi's. She has made it quite fun for them. I seriously don't know what we would do without all their aunts and uncles. thanks so much to everyone.

Atalie Bradshaw

2009-10-16T21:04:00.000-07:00

I was talking to Micheal at about 6:00pm and i asked if Angie had anything new happening. He said no she is pretty much in the same labor she has had for 2 weeks now. I did the same thing with Ari. You are definitely aware of the contractions but they are not very hard and it doesn't Make you stop living your day, Slow and steady.

About a half an hour latter Micheal called and said, "we have a baby". They were out walking, talking to me and then when they got home she got in the tub. Needless to say it happened so fast that even all the help up there didn't make it. Micheal delivered their beautiful, healthy baby girl. She weighed 6lbs 4oz. They named her Atalie witch i think is beautiful. They pick the best names.

Atalie had a true knot just like Taylor, witch are very rare. So you have flipping or cart wheeling baby. I was so glad Taylor's birth was slow and steady and no one rushed me. His was a 30 hour labor and at the end My midwife was telling me not to push, He pretty much crawled out. Had he gone to fast he could have tightened his not and cut of his oxygen. So everything happened just the way it needed to.

Both Angie and Baby are doing really great. Births are such a miracle every time, but this one was AMAZING . They so deserved this one. Thank you Heavenly Father for helping them. They are such awesome people, with great amounts of faith. We love them all so much