I asked God to take away my pride, and god said, "No."
He said it was not for him to take away, but for me to give up.

I asked God to make my suffering child whole, and God said "No."
He said her spirit is whole, her body is only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience, and God said "No."
He said that patience is a by-product of tribulation, it isn't granted; it's earned.

I asked God to give me happiness, and God said "No."
He said He gives blessings. Happiness is up to me.

I asked God to spare me pain, and God said "No."
He said suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to Me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow, and God said "No."
He said I must grow on my own, but He will prune me to make me fruitful.

I asked God if He loved me, and God said "Yes."
He gave me His only beloved Son who died for me. And I will be in Heaven someday because I believe.

I asked God to help me love others as much as He loves me.
And God said, "Ah, finally you have the idea."
-quoted by E. Dale LeBaron

Today has been such a great day. Ari has been really sick this past week. Everyday it seemed she would get something new. She was going diarrhea every 15 min, she wasn't eating, She developed really painful hemorrhoids, She had about three different infections, her ear started bleeding, They were having to monitor her hart really good because her potassium was out of whack, She got ulcers in her mouth, And was having 3 to 5 fevers a day. She did not smile or let me leave her side for about 6 to 7 days. Her bum was so sad. I felt so helpless. I believe most the time watching someone we love go through pain, we would so much rather take it upon us. About 2 night ago as we were falling asleep I just kept praying over and over again, "please help her to stop pooping and get some relief please". That night she cut back. That day she did a lot better and she smiled for the first time in a week. Today she has done amazing we have been playing and eating all morning. We are so happy and grateful.

Mom,Donna, and Jamie brought the kids up Thursday. They couldn't see Ari but for me that was exactly what i needed. We had a lot of fun. I miss them so much. They are such good kids.

Aunt Amber made her this head band. It is so cute. She is so talented. Ari is also holding her pink buddy, Witch she loves. she got the blanket in bingo here.



She has been living in the bath, for awhile it was the only thing that brought her relief. She loves taking baths with her buddies. we accidentally flushed her buddy down the toilet. she was not very happy with us. She only gets them with her food tray once a week, since she hasn't been eating we thought she wouldn't get another one. We told one of her nurses, Dave what happened and he brought her up 5 new ones. That was when she gave us her first smile.



The first bath she took lasted 5 hours. She even fell asleep and we couldn't get her out.



Here she is chugging her water in her night gown Aunt Dannie gave her.







Ari got a reaction called red mans to a medicine called vancomycin.



Having fun in the snow.

Thank you, Thank you

Life gets a little crazy in here. You never are bored or have much free time because Ari needs constant attention. Sometimes it takes me a couple hours just to get my dinner eaten.

Right now I am holding Ari; she is falling asleep. I'm eating a delicious salad Mom made me. I am reading Ari's blog and people's comments and crying like a baby. I am so grateful to Liz for starting this blog. She is such a good writer and always has me in tears. I love reading every one's comments. Hearing about Jennifer's little boy who has had a similar journey and is now doing great really lifts my spirits.

The post about donating blood really got me going. Literally, every kid on this floor is alive today because people donated blood. It touches me how many people have donated blood because of knowing Ari's story.

I really believe a lot of the Lanes have super human blood. My blood is lacking iron, super thin, and has all kinds of issues. Ari must have more of my genes then Travis's.

Anyway, thank you, thank you everyone for all your stories, comments, and prayers. We love you all.

IT'S MORNING

Yesterday was crazy. Ari has never lost her desire to drink. Water is her drug. Yesterday morning she ran out of her medicine that tells her body to hold on to her fluid and stop urinating. At the same time she was vomiting, peeing, and SHE WOULD NOT DRINK. Even when she is vomiting a lot she will keep up her fluids by drinking like crazy. So she got dehydrated super quickly and started blacking out. We got medicine in her and she pulled out of it pretty quickly. It is very scary when this happens. The rest of the day went pretty well. Mornings are always the worst.

The doctor working with us said she grew up in a poor country where the number one cause of death in children is dehydration. Mainly, because they do not have the resources to treat it

Good day. Bad day.

Today has been one of the hardest days. She has been throwing up all day. We were talking to Travis on skype and he said, "She looks like she is dead or really drugged up. Last time her 3 day was her worst. The good thing is we are almost done with chemo.

Marie Osmond came and brought Arianna a blanket. I was pretty exited. She has spent time in here with her kids. She is such a beautiful women.


They brought in a Dalmatian. We love there dog therapy. Ari was half asleep and perked right up. He climbed up in bed with her. This was the best part of her day.



We got transferred back Into a bigger room. We love it. No one got to see are small room in person, witch is a bummer because it really was funny.

Goldie Locks

GOLDIE LOCKS, TO SOFT, TO HARD, JUST RIGHT,

MOM, TO COLD
Last time we were here my poor Mom was freezing. We had to keep the room really cold because Ari would get to hot. One time I looked over at my Mom in her 5 layers and she was shivering She then said,"If i was naked right now I would wish I was dead". Of course Ari would be completely naked with no covers and burning up. One of the chemo's causes her to get fevers. Her decease also causes fever's, so it's just a double whammy.

ME, TO SCARY
I live in pajamas the entire time I am up here. The best are my bright pink hart pajamas. we are in bed for the whole time so, what would you do. Last time i got stuck up here with hardly anything. So looking presentable can be an issue, ex specially when your baby won't let you leave her to get a shower in. I really let my self go. I think being pregnant has helped me get a few dozen zits plus i am really pale. So if you can imagine i am pretty scary. My hair was also big, snarly, and about 5 different colors. The worst part about all this is as you lift your head out off bed there is a huge mirror right there, Scares the begeeses out of me.

ARI, TO BRIGHT
We call Ari our little vampire because she lives off people blood, a lot of the time she is pale as can be, and she doesn't like the light. I feel like i live in a cave. We never go outside plus she won't let us open the blinds ever. It is almost always pretty dark. during the day some light will still come through the blinds and she keeps asking me to turn of the light, and i can't do anything about it.

EVERYONE, TO LOUD
The toilets here can swallow a small child. they are pretty intense. If you flush it with the door open you are definitely getting woke up at night. they are so loud.

JUST RIGHT
Our new room Is very WARM it is about 72 degrees. Sleeping next to a human heater that is about 103 degrees can be tricky. She has had a fever ever since we got here. Mom is finally warm.

There are no mirrors So we are NOT SCARY any more because we no longer have to look at our selves. So until the smell gets to bad were pretty content.

There are no windows so at any time of day it can feel like midnight. Now it really is as DARK as a cave.

last but not least, we have PEACE AND QUITE. The bathrooms we use are the public ones about 40 yards away. This room really is JUST RIGHT.

It is funny what we complain about when we have it so good. Sometimes I feel so picked on, but I am so blessed and have it so good. i know i would not want to trade places with very many people here. I am grateful for my trials and I know the Lord gave them to me Knowing I would be Ok.

Travis is in Africa

We have kept to our selves this last few weeks because we knew we both would be leaving and this is all the time we would get for a long time. Travis and I are both very selfish with each other. We are never apart that often and when it happens we do not handle it very well. today will be the 4th day of many. I miss him so bad already. Sometimes I wonder if I help him very much emotionally or spiritually. He helps me so much. He keeps me happy, grounded, peace full, keeps me laughing, and is always there for me.

Last time Ari and I were here I had little bit of a melt down. Travis helped me see all the good things and blessings we have and focus on that. Every time I need him he knows just what to say and do.

our only way to communicate now is facebook, or skype, so i am now on face book quite a bit. He is in west Africa. It is pretty scary over there. They have lots of work to do and I'm sure are keeping pretty busy.

Were still alive

It has been a long time rite now we are back in the hospital. The hospital is so full they have us in a closet J/k. The room is about 8x10. We are finding the humor in it.