A couple of interesting things happened today in church. Laney gave a talk. It was going to be about things we could do to be more like Jesus. So she was just going to read Ari's favorite book and song I'm trying to be like Jesus. Instead she sang it. It was so cute after she was done there was a unanimous "GOOD JOB"!! And one Kid clapped a little bit. It was very cute
Our class in church was on music in our lives and in our home. They asked us all to think of a time that music has comforted us or helped us. Tears came to my eyes. My first thought is of the day Arianna passed. We asked people to pray and fast that she would not be scared. In the past when we would talk to her about passing she would get a little upset. She did not want to leave her Dad and Mom. Before she went I knew she was ready and I knew she was done being sick. She was happy to be going to live with Heavenly Father and Jesus. I do not think she was upset or scared. The two things I wanted were, for her to not die in the hospital and also for her to be in my arms, her favorite place in the world. I did not get the first. When we told the doctors of my other wish. They said ok but we have to do it soon because she is fading fast and won't hold out much longer. That day I had four of her favorite songs playing in a loop. Baby Mine, I'm trying to be like Jesus, Twinkle Twinlke little Star, and a song off of Tangled. Baby mine was her FAVORITE and in the past I would sing it to her when she was hurting or falling asleep. That day all her family got to hug and kiss her and tell her good bye. It was a very peaceful, beautiful day. when she took her last few breaths. The song Baby Mine was playing and I sang it to my baby for the last time and I had my hand on her chest and i felt her heart beat for the last time. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I felt the spirit very strong. I think music can be a very powerful thing for comfort and peace. I hope having music there that day helped her feel peace and not be scared along with a lot of other things. I love and miss her so much.
A couple other things about music and Ari. Her Singing the Z song on starfall and going ahhh, when the little girls hair went crazy. She had the most beautiful voice and she loved music. She would just start singing every once in a while. One night one of the nurses came in and She heard me singing and thought I was singing to Ari but I actually was sleep singing. It gave her a pretty good laugh. To try to keep our spirits up I would fall asleep thinking good thoughts and counting my blessings and apparently it would get me singing
Today is special in 2 ways. One because it is Sunday. Every Sunday is special because ari loved Sunday. I would try to sneak to church when she was sick because I didn't want her around so many people and also because going would exhaust her. Of course I never got away with it. She would either catch me or she would make her Dad bring her down when she figured out where I was. She passed away on a Sunday. Every Today is special in 2 ways. One because it is Sunday. Every Sunday is special because ari loved Sunday. I would try to sneak to church when she was sick because I didn't want her around so many people and also because going would exhaust her. Of course I never got away with it. She would either catch me or she would make her Dad bring her down when she figured out where I was. She passed away on a Sunday. Every Sunday since is not only Gods day but hers also.
And number 2 is because it is mothers day. What a sacred amazing day. I love being a mother. I am so grateful for my beautiful children. I am so grateful for how forgiving and loving they are. I miss Arianna so much. I know she was a gift from God. And I am so happy for every moment I had with her.
Happy mothers day Sunday since is not only Gods day but hers also.
I got a new calling. I get to teach Laney in church. After the first week she said mom its ok you will do better next week. I will help you. Oh and some people bring treats. She is so funny. When Ari died she said,"at least you have to more girls meaning kaley and Lilly. Then she said if two girls would have died dad would be pissed. But it would be quitre so maybe he would like it."
Another one of my favorites is her saying Travis looks like a Fat Jesus. The things she says.
Alaina got up to bear her testimony and said one thing."I know my Mommy loves me". It made me feel wonderful! That is my main goal as a Mom, that my kids know that I love them. There are so many times I wish I would sacrifice more, teach more, listen more, you get the idea. But hey one of my kids knows I love them. That has got to count for something.
I read this story that was similar to Ari's. The last thing her daughter said to her was."I love you Mommy". I was so jealous the last thing my daughter did was hit me for letting them do what they just did to her. I went to bed thinking about it and the next morning I woke up went down the hall and there was a book laying there that I didn't even know we had. The title was "I Love You Mommy". Thank you Ari. I love you to!!
This week we went camping at red cliffs. We went Repelling. Me and dannie went face first. It is very beautiful. We went hiking up the caynon and went on some rock slides into the water. It was way fun. The next day we went floating down the river. The river got really flooded this year and it was pretty deep. The first time we went it was peaceful and fun. Each time it got a little crazier and crazier. The last time we went it was death defying and we all nearly drowned. GOOD TIMES GOOD TIMES!!!!